When I was little my father said to me only weak people cry. I only saw him cry once, that was in my grandfather’s funeral. If I talk too long to anybody about my Grandfather I start to cry, because he was like a father to me. Before I never cried in front of anybody, I was ashamed of doing it. I felt weak because I wanted to cry all the time. I usually cried in my sleep so nobody would hear, I felt invisible. I especially don’t like men seeing me cry, because I hate to feel like weak woman who needs a guy to rescue her. My father has seen me cry, and for a long time the only other man who’d seen me was my therapist. The third person was actually the tour guide of the Spanish school I was studying at. Me and another woman watched a movie called “Camino”. At the end he came into the room and explained more about it, and I just couldn’t stop the tears from falling, stroking my blushing cheeks. I felt a bit embarrassed.

I don’t know why it’s like that, that you can’t cry. I cry if I see a sad movie, or if I see a happy movie. I cry happy tears and sad tears.

You know the saying “crying your heart out” I’ve felt it. At one point in my life I was so hurt I felt like dying. It’s a horrible feeling that I don’t wish anyone to experience.

I am an emotional person, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong about it. It’s better to cry and get comfort than to cry in the darkness alone.

31 kommentarer om “Do YOU think I’m weak for crying?

  1. I am so happy you have written this blog and so happy to have read it.

    I actually cried during Las Fallas this week-end after watching Love & Other Drugs with my girl friends. The reason was because I went through an awful time for a long period last year because of a guy I loved but didn’t love me back (or at least not as much and wouldn’t commit). This movie made me cry, even though I had already seen it because I had never had someone love me as much as what the male protagonist had demonstrate to the female protagonist. It was so strong and so beautiful that it made me cry and made me wonder if I would ever experience something as powerful as those two had.

    I find it’s okay to cry, even in front of others. I was crying alone in my room at first and I called my girls to say that I was not feeling okay. They consoled me as much as they could and I was pouring my heart out to let them know how I felt and why I was crying.

    There was a short period in my life where I would have cried alone in the dark but if I can, I try to reach out because as you say «it’s better to cry and get comfort than to cry in the darkness alone.»

    1. Thank you Natacha for this beautiful comment!
      I’m always happy when people share their experiences. I hope you will experience what the protagonists did, but in your own way. And I’m glad you reached out; I try to do it too, because some things are too much to handle alone.

  2. Eg synest det er sterkt av ein person å tørre vise kjenslene sine, fordi det kan vere skummelt og ein veit ikkje korleis andre kjem til å reagere, men når ein viser kva ein verkeleg føler så er ein ærleg, og det er alltid best. Er ein emosjonell person eg òg, så eg kjenner meg igjen i mykje av det du skriv, men i min familie har tårene alltid vore lett synlege, så det har ikkje vore noko skam rundt det. Har likevel hatt mange netter der eg har gråte i det stille, though.

    1. Valkyrje, you placed a comment on facebook expressing the disappointment of talking norwegian again, yet you have commented in norwegian? (I am mostly just teasing you).

      Crying and the comfortableness around the subject crying I think has a lot to do with ones background and experiences with crying during childhood. For me as a young child my mother’s comfort technique was to say »hush, don’t cry». And as a young child I noticed that my father would get uncomfortable with me crying and unfortunately handle those situations in a very awkward way. So, what I then learned, or observed from the coping of crying from my parents, was that crying equalled something shameful. And to this day I still have that perception when it comes to crying ( especially if I do it in front of people), and even just crying alone. You do have different stages of tears, like mentioned in your blog, but I personally hate the stage of crying when you hyperventilate and can’t breath, also because hearing myself speak, I sound like a little child, just because the emotions get so strong that it takes over your control of breath and vocal chords.

      With that said, I also have in recent years tried to allow myself to cry alone. And also allow ( depending on the situation and persons) to cry in front of people…. I always feel embarrassed. Next step will be to allow myself to not be embarrassed if I do cry.

      1. Haha, well, I was talking to someone on Facebook in Norwegian so it was a continuance of that, I suppose.

        Of course, like most things it has a lot with how you’re brought up and what you’re taught is appropriate and «normal». It’s not like we went around crying all the time at my house, but my mum for example is very easily moved by movies and such and she works as a psychiatric nurse, so there’s been quite a lot of focus on how we express our feelings etc.

        I don’t hate any stages of crying because to me it’s mostly just about being honest to yourself and others about how you feel and being able to express that, but I fully understand where you’re coming from. I kinda find hyperventilation fascinating, of course not in the moment, in the moment it’s terrible, but there’s something very interesting and weird about it.

  3. The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention.

  4. There are certainly a lot of details like that to take into consideration. That is a great point to bring up. I offer the thoughts above as general inspiration but clearly there are questions like the one you bring up where the most important thing will be working in honest good faith. I don?t know if best practices have emerged around things like that, but I am sure that your job is clearly identified as a fair game. Both boys and girls feel the impact of just a moment’s pleasure, for the rest of their lives.

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