I usually get many questions about my last name. When people see the name Porturas, and look at me, they never imagine that I’ve got Native American blood. But I do, I’m a white Inca Indian and my father is from the Andes Mountains. When people think about the Andes they usually think that people there live in small huts and are chocolate brown. And when they see me, a blue/green-eyed girl with light brown hair they think it’s impossible that I hail from there. And I have to explain what a mestizo is. “Mestizo is a term traditionally used in Latin America and Spain for people of mixed heritage or descent. In some countries it has come to mean a mixture of European and Amerindian” – Wikipedia

My Spanish descendants come from the Basque country. I found some people in the White pages with my last name. I really want to go and see where I’m from.

Question number one is usually: But your last name doesn’t seem Norwegian.

Answer: No, it’s not. It’s Peruvian.

Q.2: …But you don’t look very Peruvian.

A.2: My father is a mestizo, a mix.

Q.3: Do you speak Spanish fluently?

A.3: No, I don’t. My father didn’t want to teach me.

Q.4: But can’t you talk to him in Spanish?

A.4: I don’t have any contact with him.

Q.5: Why?

A.5: Because he’s a machista. Do you know what it means? If you do, I don’t have to explain more.

Silence…

Q.6: Have you been there?

A.6: Yes, I have, three times.

Here people usually get really uncomfortable and change the subject. And I usually do it too, because I’m tired of the questions.  Even though I’m white I feel like I am a mix, because I am a mix. And Yes, my father is my father! I’m really tiered of those jokes.

Deal with it; in the end the whole world will be a mix, and race won’t exist.

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2 thoughts on “1000 Questions

  1. I guess those questions about your lastname should mostly come from people who recognize the phonetics of it and detect its spanish sound… If so, maybe they start with those questions because they want to know YOU or they are interested on knowing SILJE. However, I see that the conversation turns awkard when you mention how machist you father is and that you have no contact with him. People feel that it is not a good topic for you, so they would stop asking very soon about it… either they change of subject or they would turn and do something else. I see -not only for this post- how painful and toxic has been to deal with your dad during your childhood and teenage years. I see also it good for you to have some kind of catarsis from your experience, which i find good you do it. I understand this feeling of being annoyed for something we had to experience just by randomness, in your case: «why i had to get THAT father». Everybody have our own «why i had to get THAT XXXXX». Im glad you do what it helps you. Because Silje has to do and find what it is best for Silje.

    I think you do well of not having contact with him if he is still toxic and something negative for you, but hey, I think when you meet new people, dont mention your father and what it comes behind of him until you build a trust bond with the person… and hey, if you dont want to have contact with him, its just perfect, but be careful, dont bring him to your life every chance you got by talking about him. Talk about your roots -if it is asked and you want to tell- without bringing him back. Just a point of view.

    Always the best for you Silje! Chocolate kisses!

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