Silje Isabel, an ethical brand

Sustainable Fashion

Silje Isabel, an ethical brand

Silje Isabel is a new environmentally friendly clothing brand with production in Norway and Peru. I use exclusive materials such as organic cotton and alpaca wool in the garments.

The cotton is 100% organic and grown in Peru. Colors are either natural cotton colors like off-white, coffee and avocado or GOTS certified. Since it has not been used artificial colorings, the garments in natural colors will be good for people who suffer from allergies caused by chemicals used for dyeing clothes. I also collaborate with a Fair Trade company in Peru called Aptec, they employ women in impoverished areas and learn them how to knit. This helps them generate an income in regions where it’s hard to find work.

 

Please visit my website to see more of the clothes:

http://www.siljeisabel.no

or press like on my Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/siljeisabel.no/

 

 

En liten appell

Jeg skriver dette mens jeg ser på det slitte huset hvor han slo oss, hvor han låste oss inne…

Hele oppveksten kalte faren min meg for en idiot og fortalte meg at jeg var ubrukelig. Og jeg trodde på det. Etter år med feil valg av menn og mye terapi, traff jeg endelig en som var motsatt av det jeg kjente til fra tidligere. Jeg forsto at jeg er verdt noe selv om faren min sin hånende stemme fortsatt er der. Jeg er lei av å være sint på grunn av alt som har hendt, og vil derfor heller takke de mennene som har forstått at kvinner og menn er likeverdige, som forstår at deres størrelse og styrke ikke er til for å skade og undertrykke, men for å beskytte og verne om kvinnen sin og familien. Det er lett å si, inklusiv for meg selv, at alle menn er drittsekker, men det hadde vært urettferdig å dra alle under en kam. Vi har fortsatt en vei å gå, men la oss heller gå den sammen.

Mvh

Silje P.

 

 

For å være ærlig…

For å være ærlig liker jeg ikke stempelet eller merkelappen emosjonelt ustabil personlighetsforstyrrelse borderline-typen. Det er to negative ord i den beskrivelsen: ”ustabil” og ”forstyrret”. ”Forstyrret” for meg høres sykt ut, jeg er ikke syk for det spurte jeg nemlig terapeutene mine om. Altså, jeg er ikke syk, men går i terapi, da kommer neste spørsmål- hvorfor? Vel, jeg klarer ikke å regulere mitt eget følelsesliv. For meg bygges det for eksempel opp på grunn av flere hendelser i løpet av uken, tilslutt når det toppen og kommer ut i form av gråt, maktesløshet, tanker som tapper meg for viljen til å leve, følelsen av at dette orker jeg ikke mer- jeg orker ikke flere følelser. Da jeg var i tenårene var det mye verre enn nå, jeg kuttet meg, tok piller sammen med alkohol, hele tiden hadde jeg tanker om den ideelle måten å dø på. Men jeg ville ikke dø, jeg bare orket ikke å leve, og hva er da alternativet? Folk generelt tror at jeg bare tåler alt, nettopp fordi jeg har blitt nødt til å tåle alt. Smerten inni meg kan ingen se, jeg sluttet å kutte meg og arrene mine vokste fint, nå kan nesten ingen se tegn på at jeg noen gang led. Savner jeg oppmerksomheten? Litt, men jeg hater oppmerksomhetssyke folk og personlig fikk jeg dårlig samvittighet for at ”jeg” og min ”forstyrrelse” tok så mye plass fra de rundt meg. Jeg ville skåne dem fra meg og utviklet en ny ”taktikk” som gjør at alle mine ”utbrudd” kommer når jeg er alene, når ingen kan se meg, dømme meg, dokumentere at jeg er ”forstyrret” fordi jeg vil være normal. Jeg har blitt så overraskende flink til å være normal at folk aldri tenker at jeg sliter med noe – det har vært det jeg har foretrukket. Men nå etter såpass mange år med terapi orker jeg ikke å leve i skjul lenger, å maskere hvem jeg er på grunn av skam for den jeg er kommer ikke til å fungere i lengden. Det har vært hendelser som har gjort meg redd meg selv igjen, redd for hva jeg kan gjøre, men jeg skal ikke, jeg vil egentlig ikke, jeg vil lære å kontrollere meg og jeg er på vei. Er det en ting jeg vil unngå så er det å være en byrde for familien min, jeg er lei av dette sporet jeg ikke klarer å komme ut av. Jeg er oppriktig lei meg for det jeg har gått gjennom som jeg aldri fikk lov til å være lei meg for. ”Tenk hvis” er ord som har brent seg fast i netthinnen. Jeg er så vanvittig lei av å sammenligne meg med andre, hvorfor skal egentlig dere være bedre enn meg? Jeg romantiserer nesten alle jeg treffer, alle er bedre eller har det bedre enn meg. Uheldigvis har jeg truffet mange menn som også har trykket meg langt ned, kalt meg umulig, komplisert og sagt til meg at folk som sliter psykisk er skumle. Hvis jeg skal få si en ting så er jeg ikke skummel, jeg har aldri gått inn for å såre noen eller skade noen. Den jeg skader er meg selv. Alle sliter med noe, alle har forskjellige personligheter og trekk som ikke nødvendigvis er så veldig nyttige. Alt jeg ønsker er å bli forstått og at en dag vil jeg klare å si til meg selv ” Det er ok å være deg, og ikke som alle andre”.

The past semester

I’ve tried to summarise the past semester, but I can’t because too many things happened. It’s been a rollercoaster of feelings from very sad to extremely happy. Finding out I’ve got a baby brother and that my father got married was hard to deal with for a while, but I got over it, and then I found out my older brother got married too without telling anybody, I got over that too. I was with these pot smoking LSD people, but I turned my back on them as I’m against using drugs. I can’t think of anything stupider as using pot to lose weight. Anyways, I’ve had a lot to deal with, but in that chaos of feelings and ruining some acquaintances I found the best friends possible. All of them are so down to earth, funny, thoughtful, smart and open. There were no lies with them. I as a person usually look at the negative side of things to protect myself from disappointment, but now I feel my view has changed. You need to follow your gut instinct and don’t use time with wasted people. Focusing more on the people I really like was the best decision I could ever make and I found amazing people.

So to my amazing people, I hope I can meet you someday soon:)

Do you trust?

During this stressy exam time of the year I’m actually quite at ease with everything. I’ve met wonderful people here in Valencia, but it took some time finding them. Going abroad you’re very open to meeting new people, some want to be themselves and others want to show themselves from their best side. In the beginning I thought I met some people I could trust, that turned out to blow up in my face, but I feel I’ve learnt something from it all. I’m very open about stuff so most people know me, I’m honest and always myself with every mood that that entails. If I’m upset you can definitely see it on my body language.

One girl told me to never tell anything personal to anybody, because you can’t trust anyone. But I personally want to trust people and at least give them a chance, though people don’t always act the way they’re supposed to.  You get disappointed, but you learn that that person wasn’t supposed to be your friend, you move on and find others who are much better, because you deserve it! There’s no use hoping that someone will change for you, they will only change when they want to.

Do YOU think I’m weak for crying?

When I was little my father said to me only weak people cry. I only saw him cry once, that was in my grandfather’s funeral. If I talk too long to anybody about my Grandfather I start to cry, because he was like a father to me. Before I never cried in front of anybody, I was ashamed of doing it. I felt weak because I wanted to cry all the time. I usually cried in my sleep so nobody would hear, I felt invisible. I especially don’t like men seeing me cry, because I hate to feel like weak woman who needs a guy to rescue her. My father has seen me cry, and for a long time the only other man who’d seen me was my therapist. The third person was actually the tour guide of the Spanish school I was studying at. Me and another woman watched a movie called “Camino”. At the end he came into the room and explained more about it, and I just couldn’t stop the tears from falling, stroking my blushing cheeks. I felt a bit embarrassed.

I don’t know why it’s like that, that you can’t cry. I cry if I see a sad movie, or if I see a happy movie. I cry happy tears and sad tears.

You know the saying “crying your heart out” I’ve felt it. At one point in my life I was so hurt I felt like dying. It’s a horrible feeling that I don’t wish anyone to experience.

I am an emotional person, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong about it. It’s better to cry and get comfort than to cry in the darkness alone.

One birthday and a dead grandmother

My birthday was the 22^nd of November, like it is each year. This year while turning 21 my grandmother died. Am I sad? The answer is no. The truth is I only met her twice in my life, once when I was a baby and she taught me how to walk, which I did on my first birthday. The second time was two years ago when I travelled alone to Peru to meet my family, for what felt to me like the first time.  I think she loved seeing me again, but the more I learned about my family the more I learned about why my father became who he is. My grandmother didn’t have a lot of empathy and was very stubborn, like my father.  She didn’t say goodbye to me when I was going back to Norway because I was living with her brother, and they obviously had some unresolved business. I never really liked birthdays anyway. My family has had so many problems that our birthdays were neglected. My mother though always makes the best out of it. She’s always there, my sister too, when the rest of the family doesn’t care. I’m used to not being remembered by my father, he doesn’t bother. I was supposed to be a boy. My last birthday my grandmother gave me a book about a girl that “changed for the better”, and stopped practicing the dangerous art of Yoga and found the way of God. She thinks my travels are dangerous and that I should become a missionary. Because everybody knows that yoga, communism or what ever is sinful. Why can’t family just be supportive?

I wish that someday I will be truly happy for being born, but I guess I’m not there yet. I’ve experienced a lot and I love life now, but the ghosts of my past are still haunting me, and it’s hard to let go and forgive.

A desert flower that can never blossom

“Desert flower” is a movie about a model from Somalia. She was the first one to talk to the public about female circumcision. The movie touched me deeply. I cried during a scene where they show her as a three-year-old girl taken by her mother to the woman who cuts, removing her genitals and sewing her up. They didn’t show the exact procedure, but it was horrible seeing the young girl crying and screaming, and the bloodstain covering the rock. All this while her telling us how the birds ate the parts cut off.  After the procedure they sew them up to keep the virgins until their wedding night when the husband cuts them open, and I guess you know the rest. It must be excruciatingly painful. It’s a despicable act robbing women of their womanhood, their right to feel pleasure, and to give birth. We must be grateful for equality, but at the same time not to take it for granted. Not all women are as fortunate as us. Fight injustice against women!

A wave of hope embraces the Norwegian society

This is NOT a piece about anger, resentment, or revenge. It’s about compassion, support and love.

To be honest I’m kind of mentally tired from listening to the news all day about these tragic incidents. But I’m glad we as a people have gotten so good response from the world on how we’re dealing with this. A German newspaper said:

“Even in their deepest sorrow the Norwegians don’t get hysterical. They resist the hate. It is amazing to see how politicians and the whole country react. They are sad to the deepest thread of their souls. They cry in dignity. But nobody swears to take revenge. Instead they want even more humanity and democracy. That is one of the most remarkable strengths of that little country.” And I think it’s true.

A Norwegian girl said this on CNN:

“If one man can create that much hatred, you can only imagine how much love we as a togetherness can create.”

Yesterday we showed compassion by bringing flowers and candles to remember those who have passed away. I’ve never seen that many people gather in Stavanger’s main square.  I was there with some friends and my mother, and we placed the flowers on the steps of the church.  I saw people off all origins come to show their support. I want to emphasise that they too are Norwegians. I’m relieved that the guy who did these terrible things was an ethnic Norwegian. I think this will open up the minds of people, to accept our multicultural society, to be more open. I feel there is hope that one day we can reach acceptance, and respect each other. It’s one of my biggest wishes to not be a prejudice society, but an including one.

Pillars of strength

One day I was with some friends at a café. We started talking about our siblings. Two of us thought we might have more brothers and sister, because our fathers had been married before they met our mothers. We both wished for an older brother or sister that could have protected us while growing up. I didn’t have one, but I have today. I’ve got extra sisters, and an extra grandmother, not biologically but the bond is just as strong. Most of the people in what I consider to be my family are not closely related to me. It’s a different kind of family, but a family nonetheless.

A person I know told me she feels like my protective big sister. I was so happy when she told me, there ’s nothing like feeling cared for. It’s been great having people helping me with my problems. I like taking care of my closest because these people have saved me over and over again when my dark thoughts take over. I thank them all, they are truly my pillars of strength.

I have to say the summer sun has melted away the frosty layer that covered me. And now I feel a sense of fulfilment and warmth. I’m filling myself with good hopes for the future, building up guts to plunge myself into the unknown once more.